Are You Lying to the Person You’re Dating?
Hey this seems so off topic since I’m all about speaking English clearly and helping professionals gain more respect while speaking English. But just humor me for a moment. I have something to say that can teach you how to get comfortable with being honest with yourself and the person you’re dating.
This could save you from wasting your time with someone who you don’t even want to be with.
This could save the person you’re dating time because you chose to be honest from the beginning.
I’m trying to help you realize you don’t have to stay in a relationship so you don’t hurt someone’s feelings. I feel like it needs to be said because if I dealt with it then I know there are other people who are going through it now.
And if you truly don’t want to be with the person you’re dating now, leave the relationship. What you’re doing is essentially lying to them. Lying about having feelings for them. Lying about enjoying spending time with them. It’s all a lie.
Before I speak on the issue I see people not being honest in relationships, I tell you about myself. This is such a tender topic for me since I used to be a flaming red-hot people pleaser. With my past relationships, I didn’t want to upset my dear, precious boyfriend.
Being single can be lonely. Fear can creep up in your mind and have this broken record on repeat in your head- You’ll never find anyone to love you, you’re not loveable, all the great men are taken, I have to do whatever it takes to please a guy when I get him because I might not find anyone else. Yikes! This sounds horrible because it is.
All of this doesn’t apply if you’re young and figuring out what you like and dislike. This is for grown adults who have been in the dating game for years, but still are having issues with saying what they will and won’t accept.
This is for the adult that’s already in a relationship, yet their heart truly isn’t in it. They want to leave but fear of damaging the other person's heart is keeping them staying connected to the person they want to secretly leave.
I’ve found this to be true in my life. When I operate out of fear I make irrational choices. I’ll jump in front of God and take over my life. This is when I began to accept more crap into my life because in the back of my mind, I had fear ruling over my thoughts.
Being completely honest with someone even outside of dating, takes practice. You have to slowly give yourself permission to say what you want. If you’re worried about them being mad at you, that should be a sign it’s important to you.
We practice this with children more than we do with adults, yet adults deal with the exact same problems as kids do.Parents, teachers and other professionals teach kids to ask for what you desire, encourage kids to speak up for themselves and tell your friends no. But something happens along the way of growing up. People forget to take those encouragement and lessons learned from their parents with them into adulthood. You end up trading honesty with a dishonest mask that’s worn on a daily basis.
You get into relationships and put on the mask just so you can have someone to call a boyfriend and spend time with.
I need you to know you’re complete without a partner. You need to grasp that another person doesn’t make you whole. You first have to realize who God made you to be, live like you believe and get real comfortable being yourself. It’s not necessary to be a different person so someone can like or love you. Believe me, the truth will eventually come to the light and all lies will be exposed.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Don’t feel sorry for someone if they start crying after you break up with them. In the long run, you’re not going to be committed so save yourself time and money from getting a divorce later.
Pay attention to how your boyfriend is treating others and you when he’s truly comfortable. If you see something that is off, trust your gut and leave. It’s difficult enough trying to change your bad habits so what makes you believe you can alter someone else’s behavior?
Leaving a relationship you don’t want to be in is an act of love toward yourself plus the other person.
Do not have sex with men because you believe they’ll stay with you and it’ll make them love you more. It won’t , sis. Say no. Believe me, if he wants to be with you he’ll wait.
If you’re dating someone for the wrong reasons, I want you to have enough courage to say you’re done.
May God bless you with a heart that seeks after him and fills your cup up every single day so that you don’t compromise your own heart in order to please someone else.
May you set yourself from feeling guilty about leading this person astray. It’s time to leave, sis. That’s all for now, but i left you with something to chew on that’s for sure. Until next time…
Be honest my friend,
LaDoris 🫶🏾
